We all need to be reminded of this very real truth from time to time:
you are enough and you're doing your best.
All too often we look at everything we haven't accomplished, the places we're falling short, and the things we don't have.
Imagine heading over to your favorite Chinese buffet, filling your plate several times, and trying every dish imaginable. Two hours later you're waddling through the exit popping gas-x with a shit-eating grin. You drive home, jump on google, and proceed to leave the restaurant a one star review.
“This Chinese buffet was a dumpster fire, they didn't even have any Mexican food!”
How do you think people would respond? Imagine the comments underneath your review – it would probably get kinda ugly in there.
How would you respond to reading a similar review about yourself? Let's say some stranger left you a scathing review: “I hate their stupid pointy ears.” All the while you are not an elf and therefore do not have needle-tipped ears.
Would you get defensive, yell and scream, or instantly cover your ears and run for cover?
You'd probably laugh - “this person is crazy, I don't have pointy ears and I'm really not sure what they're talking about.”
How often do you get upset by allowing the opinion of another to determine your own value? How often do you do this to yourself? Do you constantly find fault within what you haven't achieved or are you celebrating yourself on a regular basis?
Authenticity means embracing every aspect of yourself with pride and confidence. Authenticity means believing you're already enough and that you're doing your best.
That's a hard pill to swallow for some folks, “how can I strive to be better if I feel that I'm good enough just as I am?”
You are like technology. Is current tech absolutely flawless and perfect? Of course it isn't. But is it the best it's ever been? Yes.
You are the best you've ever been right now in this very moment and tomorrow – you'll get better. Getting better means having more experience and striving to become so.
“If I believe this, then I'm giving up on my goals.”
My rebuttal, when will you finally be enough? When will you successfully cross that finish line or summit that mountain top? Why haven't you already? I'll spit on my hand, shake yours, and guarantee that you've lead yourself to believe that once some future accomplishment happens, then everything will come together and you'll finally be happy.
Why hasn't it happened yet? Because your lower mind, also known as “ego” has not allowed it. Every time you cross a finish line, your lower mind either pushes it back or creates another one.
You are not allowed to “arrive,” feel accomplished, or good enough about yourself unless you transform your perspective. Recognize that at any given moment you are doing the best you can considering the circumstance and your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual capacity. Read that again and prove me wrong.
If you can't lose the weight, finish the course, or land the opportunity, it's because you haven't made it as important as it needs to be. That's it. I can jump into the depths of your mind and find endless evidence of previous determination, dedication, and resilience which ferried you all the way to that podium of triumph when you decided what you were pursuing was in fact, important. You believed in yourself and nothing was going to stand in your way.
It's time to believe in yourself again and fully embrace all that you are, not what you aren't. Spirituality has been saying that self-love, authenticity, self-value, etc. is the path to liberation and a life well-lived for eons. Science is just now beginning to prove it. (Check out all the proof in the last part of this email if you need a little encouragement.)
If you're ready to experience your own personal perspective shift, it all starts with your beliefs. Look yourself in the mirror every morning, take a deep breath, hold your gaze for 10 seconds, then say this: “I'm enough, I'm doing my best, and I'm proud of myself.”
If you want to go a bit deeper, write yourself a love letter expressing how wonderful you are and praising yourself for all that you've achieved. I bet it wasn't easy. Hardened men have broke themselves through this practice, only to rise again and realize that a weight has been lifted.
Watch what happens with a little self encouragement and stay tuned for some deeper tactical approaches in upcoming newsletters and videos. I have a new YouTube video linked below - be sure to check it out if you're over-stressed and anxious at work.
– With Gratitude
Joe Hehn
PS. Know that if you ever have questions – I’m only an email away.
Here's a snapshot of me teaching over 40 people The Higher Perspective™ at a recent retreat with Gray Construction out in Gatlinburg, TN. These guys were an amazing and very welcoming group – I'm very grateful to have had the opportunity.
What Science says about Believing in Yourself…
Mental Health Improvement: higher self-esteem is associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression, suggesting that a positive self-image can enhance mental health. Personality and Individual Differences (2014)
Performance: individuals with high self-efficacy set higher goals and achieve better results. There is extensive evidence of how belief in oneself enhances performance. Bandura - Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control (1997)
Social Interactions: individuals with higher self-esteem tend to have more satisfying relationships, as they are more likely to communicate openly and assertively. The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2010)
Goal Achievement: self-belief is crucial for perseverance in goal-oriented tasks, showing a direct link between self-confidence and achievement. Psychological Bulletin (2011)
Humility and Growth: humble individuals are more receptive to feedback, which fosters personal and professional development, showing the interplay between humility and a strong self-image. The Journal of Positive Psychology (2014)
Physical Health: individuals with higher self-esteem are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors and report better overall health, linking self-image with physical well-being. Health Psychology (2015)
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