At the end of the day, all a person needs is to be heard. But in order to be heard, we need to talk. And in order to talk… we need someone or something to listen. I have a 9 month old, so life has changed quite a bit over the last year and half. Hobbies and habits that were once a staple in my routine, look more now like luxuries. For example; cooking a nice meal. Now I'm not a chef and my kitchen confidence maxes out just above preparing a meal for my extended family. The thing I've noticed about myself is that I enjoy cooking a heck of a lot more than I enjoy eating said meal – and this includes whether or not others like it too. I had the luxury of making a great meal the other night. Suzy said she wanted to do candlelit yoga in our bedroom and I was a bit torn, both sounded perfect. I put on my chef's hat. A glass of pinot, conjuring up some sort of recipe, great lighting, and bouncing around the island to the tune of Sam Cooke, The Temptations, and Etta. My yoga was cooking. And I’m not referring to the stretching kind of yoga but rather conscious unification with the Divine. The word 'Yoga' is derived from the Sanskrit root 'Yuj', meaning 'to join' or 'to yoke' or 'to unite'. The meal turned out pretty good but could have been better – I'm too heavy handed with portions. But it doesn’t matter how the meal turned out because the win was in the prep. I had fun, I blew off some steam, and I allowed myself a space to be heard. I treated my time cooking like I was going to: church, temple, ashram. It was sacred. I honored my time and effort and within it I discovered gratitude through speaking my truth. I felt, heard. Exhale… "If God intended us to talk more than listen, he would have given us two mouths and one ear." - Mark Twain -
That’s how it is with talking out your problems. Sometimes we’re not looking for sympathy, we don’t need to hear about the flip side of the coin, and we’re definitely not looking for advice. We simply need someone or something to hold space with us and allow us to feel heard. I really didn’t understand how important this was. I was the guy serving up a heaping pile of “welp, here’s what you need to do.” Hobbies and habits such as: cooking, the stretching kind of yoga, going for a run, or beating the ever-living shit out of a punching bag serve us… but sometimes we need something more. Sometimes we need someone there to just, listen. Nodding in empathy, blinking slowly while holding our quivering gaze, welcoming whatever we share with an unbiased embrace – creating a sacred space for us to feel heard. Union of two consciousness, within the Divine. The challenge is that not everybody has something or someone. While reading this right now, one of two things are most likely happening for you. You’re either thinking of someone who may need you to hold space for them… or you’re the one in need. Either way be courageous and take the first step, reach out. The Universe is a pretty special place and from what I’ve discovered, people love to help when asked. We can help them by sharing exactly what we need from them or how we’re comfortable extending help. Maybe it’s as simple as making a meal together. Also, I’m here if you need somebody to talk to. I’m grateful for you, Joe
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